Sunday, August 20, 2017

Back To School Day

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?

"No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

Thanks Alex

Friday, August 18, 2017

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Odds and Ends

Go Figure . . . Honest?
 New TV Tray
 I guess the NFL wants another holiday
at the Woodsterman house. And I thought it
was over. 
 It's not so much that this jerk sits through the
National Anthem, it's that his coach, his
team mates, the team's owner, AND the NFL
give this douche bag a pass. GOOD BYE NFL!  

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Blondes Say The Darnest Things

What is 710 ?

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage
when a blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'
She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine,
I have lost it and need a new one.'
She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.               
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked, 'Is there a 710 on this car?'
She pointed and said, 'Of course, it’s right there.' The mechanic fainted.

If you're not sure what a 710 is Scroll down.


 Thanks David

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Tyrone . . . .

Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone; will you ever learn anything?"

One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career.

Tyrone's mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to Cleveland.

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with irreversible cardiac disease. Her doctors all strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw the handsome young doctor who headed her surgical team smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but quickly died.

The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. When the doctor turned around to leave the room, he saw Tyrone, now a janitor at the Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to plug in his vacuum cleaner.

If you thought that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you voted for Hillary.

Thanks Hal

Friday, August 11, 2017

Must Be Fun Friday . . . .

Doing a little preposting this because I'm
doing a show this weekend.

Thanks Facebooksterguysandgals